His First Girlfriend
My oldest. The president of the he-man woman haters club, certain that the best things in life are Mama, a good place to hunt, and stash of Little Debbies. He frowned when his buddy got him a girl, and mumbled under his breath “nothin’ but trouble”. I was the only women in his life.
I never saw it coming which is funny because the little blue eyed darling with her fairy like features has had little cartoon hearts popping over her head for my boy since they were six years old. I reckon he started paying attention. Bam! Out of no where my long legged, 12 year old tells me, “Well Mama, she finally got to me. I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
Shhhhhhh….you here that sound? It is the sound of my heart breaking.
I pull myself together cause life is calling me on the phone. When I answer it says “Get a grip woman and teach the boy what to do!” Sometimes I just want to tell life where to stick it, but no. It is his first girlfriend and there is a whole heap to learn on both our parts. We have a talk.
First things first, he needs to know how to talk to her. I’m afraid today’s kids lack the most basic life skills and talking to people is one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love to text, but there are times when talking face to face is super important. Like when your face to face. He should look at her in the eyes and talk to her. Phoneless. Period. Not even a phone glance. Not even one little phone peek.
Listening is even more important than talking. How many of you ladies wish your husband’s Mama gave him a listening lesson? Yep. That is what I thought. I’m doing my part and teaching the boy to listen. I’m expecting a thank you card from his wife many years from now.
He needs to protect her. He needs to protect her good name, her reputation. He should come to her defense if need be. Loyalty is the name of the game. She will never forget how he made her feel, even as an adult.
It all boils down to respect, but you can’t just look at your kid and say “respect your girlfriend.” Details are important in parenting. Really important. He needs to know what it means to respect her and how he should go about doing it. How well we all know that our children did not come with a set of detailed instructions on how to raise them. They are however, given a set of detailed life instructions. They are called parents. Milestones, like first girlfriends, are mega teaching moments. Mom and Dad, pay attention.
Ironically, my sweet boy tells me as I’m finishing up this blog that his sweetheart has dumped him. I suppose that is a whole other lesson, and another blog for another day. It should be a real doozy too because I never expected to feel the emotions that I am feeling over hearing him say, “She dumped me.” It is hilariously embarrassing because I’m feeling….well….violent.