My best crisis ever.
I am an intense person. Jon says I’m squirrely. Basically, I’m not good and satisfied unless I’m worried about something. It’s just the way it is. Some of my daily worry indulgences include things like money, and bills, and work, and my kids, and all my obligations…. Did I feed the dogs?…. Will I have enough time to do a full highlight before my next haircut?…. What if I don’t get off in time to pick the kids up?…. We need to get the roof fixed….I need to go to the grocery store….I never printed off the lyrics for the youth choir….You get the idea. If I momentarily feel like I have some what of a grip on my life, I’ll move on to worrying about things that I really have little or no control of at all, like the election…. Hillary and Donald are morons. What in the world is going to happen?… It has recently occurred to me, that if all you have to worry about is that kind of crap and the dang election, then drop to your knees and thank the good Lord above right now, because friend, you are not in a crisis.
I have not worried about bills, or song lyrics, or work, or dogs, or the roof, or the kids, or Donald, or Hillary in 33 days.
There’s problems, then there’s crisis. Every day, all day, we have problems, until we step into a crisis. Then we realize that we really didn’t have any problems before. A crisis is a deafening, breath taking, paralyzing problem, that most of the time results in permanent effects on your life. Life is a constant cycle of problems and crisis. If you haven’t experienced a crisis, don’t worry. You will.
Every time I find myself with real problems….big problems….crisis kind of problems, I always blow it. I don’t know why. In all of my 38 years of living, God hasn’t let me down, but every time I find myself in a tough spot, I’m wringing my hands, and chewing my fingernails off, and freaking out, wandering around in the wilderness grumbling my butt off. So here I am. Confused. Angry. Scared. Disappointed. ….All of the hurts that make up a broken heart. In the midst of this, I’ve decided I’m going to make this my best crises ever.
I have always been afraid to pray the words “Thy will be done” and really mean it. Those words have always frightened me. What if His will is something that is just way to hard? In every situation I come up with a plan that I feel really works best for everyone, and that plan is what I will pray for. My death grip on control squeezes the life out of my trust in Christ. This time, I will let go. Thy will be done. After all, Thy will is good. Thy will is always good. Thy will is far more amazing than anything I could ever dream up.
There is a whole bunch of stuff that I don’t know. I do know 3 things for sure.…He is good. He is faithful. He is able.
While I am here, and I am waiting, I will worship. One great thing about being in a crisis is that you are suddenly insanely aware of the blessings in your life. I am blessed and I am thankful. My kids are healthy. They are funny and smart and best of all they love Jesus. My dogs love me even if I forget to feed them. I love my husband, who says I’m squirrely. I have a five gallon bucket that catches water from the leak in the roof for 2 good weeks. That’s 2 weeks I don’t have to worry about the floor getting too wet, and guess what? When it fills up after 2 weeks, I can dump it out and start all over again. My clients are my friends. They are loyal and patient and they are praying for me. Because of my clients, I have money to go to the grocery store and pay bills with. Teenagers are extremely flexible, and they’d rather talk than sing anyway so they enjoy a good chat while I print lyrics out. Oh and you know what else? I have yet to not pick one of my kids up from school, a meeting, or a ballgame. Nope. Not one time. I have surprisingly never left those jokers anywhere, so worrying about that is just silly. And what about Donald and Hillary? Well, the government is on His shoulders, not mine, so I’m not gonna sweat that either.